Everything leading up to the extended scene above from this week’s Brandy & Ray J: A Family Business was thick with drama: Brandy’s clash her manager Ryan, Sonja’s dizzy spell, Sonja’s unwillingness to let go of the family business, Sonja’s unwillingness to get in the car, etc. It was then a nice relief to come upon this scene of unadulterated sweetness, in which Willie serenades his wife with a song he wrote for her. He even made her cry (we never thought we’d see the day!). Adorbs, y/y?
I think we can all relate to Evelyn’s antics in this episode. Everyone gets a little drunk and breasty sometimes.
We’ll start not with a point of tension (for once!) but a recap on an enduring point of tension:
This is the oft-whispered-about sister of Gloria whose greatest contribution to this how has been causing many a person to say the word “allegedly” (as in, Laura allegedly hooked up with Shaq). Actually, I thought her name was Allegedly. Anyway, Allege and Gloria talk about the various other points of tension that have come as a result of the close-quartered demands of this show. Gloria doesn’t see herself being friends with Royce or Suzie, but is happy with Evelyn and Jennifer and is willing to be friends with Shaunie “if Shanuie wants to continue to be cool friends with me.” Aw, cool friends. That sounds like a Kashi brand targeted to a younger demographic. Watch your ass, Wheaties.
Allege asks Gloria what she gets from being around these women. Gloria gets that she never wants to be like them ever. Well, learning by example is still learning. Never let anyone tell you that Basketball Wives isn’t educationally enriching to at least one person on earth.
I also feel that it is important to point out that while Gloria and her sister are talking, her sister is sitting in the sink.
You can’t be soiled by your alleged reputation as long as you keep running water nearby, I guess.
Our first actual point of tension involves…
- Evelyn vs. Royce (again)
It all starts when Jennifer begins planning a benefit for Haiti. You see, there is more to her life than being Eric Williams’ dissatisfied partner in marriage. She has her own thing going on, such as philanthropy and her business Flirty Girl Fitness, which we’ve never heard about on the show yet but, I think we can agree, is a hell of a thing to just drop in there…
Jennifer finds Royce in a charitable mood, too. They walk and try to negotiate the veritable braid of leashes their captives have created…
Royce says that as a dancer, she’d volunteer at the homeless shelter. “It shows that we’re really grounded,” she explains. And what could be more important than that? Surely not feeding the hungry. She and Jennifer giggle about rhinestone hairnets as they decide to take on this endeavor of grounded appearance. They also joke about Suzie asking inappropriate questions to the homeless people. And by “inappropriate,” they don’t mean, “How many cars does your garage fit?”
So great, they’re about to make a bunch of needy people happy and momentarily less needy. That wouldn’t be a problem except that Evelyn’s pissed off with Royce yet again for some blog something and for her refusal to tweet with accountability. Twitter, like alcohol, should be enjoyed responsibly. But unlike alcohol, it should not be enjoyed boobily (more on that in a sec!). Interesting, all the…philosophies that this show contains. Jennifer brings up Royce’s idea of visiting the homeless kitchen and Evelyn’s response is, “Ugh. Please with this!”
Suzie says that Royce will take credit for this. Suzie thinks that when Royce does a good thing, she takes the credit, when she does a bad thing, they take the blame. I don’t remember Royce saying it was anyone else’s crotch but hers that was thrusting incessantly during the first two episodes of this show, but hey, I wasn’t there.
“I’m all about feeding the homeless, I just don’t feel like feeding the homeless with her ass,” explains Evelyn. Feeding with ass sounds unsanitary. Evelyn is right to be wary.
Anyway, everyone gets over themselves and makes their way to Camillus House. Royce arrives first and stops to say, “Aw, you’re cute,” to a homeless man in a wheelchair. If I had to guess, I’d say that both of those qualifiers add to his cuteness in Royce’s opinion.
Everyone else arrives. Evelyn remains wary of Royce saying, “She knows exactly what she’s doing.” Indeed…
…damn ladler!
Sadly, it seems that no one bedazzled their hairnets.
Such a shame. They’d seem even more grounded if they had.
Royce says she’s proud of her associates for not being uptight about this. Suzie is so not uptight that she attempts to explain to the homeless and underprivileged the concept of “mo money, mo problems.”
I’m sure this puts everything into perspective and the homeless people are now grateful for everything they don’t have. Also, she tells this guy that she would date him:
So stay tuned, I guess?
In everyone’s defense, they do seem truly engaged with the people they served…
They even allow themselves to be touched!
In fact, they’re a lot more cordial with the homeless than with Royce. In an interview, Royce says, “I can never tell if Evelyn’s reaction is good or bad.” That is because said reaction generally happens behind Royce’s back.
Here, that is literally the case.
Ah, the afterglow of charity.
- Evelyn vs. “some girl who’s hiding behind some phony, fake email address” (Part 2)
We see Evelyn hiring a private investigator over the harassing emails and texts that involve her daughter. She has a case number from the police and everything. Most fascinatingly, she thinks that the culprit is the wife of an NBA player. The harassment and defamation is coming from inside! And here I thought being associated with men in basketball was the path to a peaceful, drama-free existence.
- Evelyn vs. alcohol
We at last see the episode’s main event: Jennifer’s Haiti benefit. There’s a bit of tension before anyone arrives because Jennifer has not received many RSVPs, but apparently, people in Miami don’t do that.
Also, of course, Jennifer’s friends arrive, some of them toting boy toys…
That’s Evelyn’s 22-year-old special someone, Stefan. Or, as Noe calls him…
There will never be any tension between Noe and obviousness, guarantee it.
This is obviously Jennifer’s event, but our story here mostly concerns Evelyn and her consumption of a “vodka mix thing.”
All of this, of course, flies out the window…
…and it turns out that Evelyn has the biggest problem handling…lots of things, actually:
Watching a woman get so drunk that she needs assistance while she finds the whole thing hilarious on VH1 is like getting a visit from an old friend. It’s a spiritual family reunion. You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed this.
Evelyn leaves. Suzie thinks that this is what happens when you try to “keep up with” a 22-year-old. I think it’s more a matter of not knowing your own strength, or that of what will potentially seduce your 22-year-old arm candy. Whatever. Hilarious.
Oh, and one point of tension that’s averted is between Jennifer and Eric. He says nice things to her!
He even calls her “fierce,” so you can see that he’s really, really making an effort to fit in on reality TV. He kind of ignores her speech, but he’s otherwise attentive and he works the room.
Jennifer, for once, has hope that she will work things out with Eric. Optimism rears its head on Basketball Wives! Feels weird, no?
Ronnie James Dio, one of heavy metal’s all-time greatest singers and a five-decade rock veteran, died early Sunday morning at 67. The singer, known for his work with Rainbow, Black Sabbath, Heaven and Hell and his own band, Dio, died less than a year afte
